Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
