just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
