I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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