Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize