somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
