what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
