I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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