Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
