Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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