I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize