Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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