Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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