i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
