I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
