I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
