No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I enjoy the company of your penis
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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