Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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