Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
