nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
