Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
People in love make me want to vomit
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
