i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Randomize
