I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize