Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
