Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
