I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
