i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
