How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
