Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize