Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
...so i touched it.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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