Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
