Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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