i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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