Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We talked him into tasing himself.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
