Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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