people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
