im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
third nipple confirmed
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
