I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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