I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
