Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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