Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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