she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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