my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
