is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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