This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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