how can u be prego again
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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