Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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