meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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