Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
