After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
