when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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