you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize