therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
