I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
