This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
