Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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