That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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