I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
