Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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